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  • Writer's pictureVlada Zapesotsky

Finding Your Inner Neutral Observer

I would like to introduce you one of the internal roles that I developed in my healing vision and action model The Way Home- to your True Self. The concept of the inner role comes from the psycho-therapeutic method of psychodrama and represents certain inner expressions or parts of ourselves. Some common examples are: inner child, inner teacher, inner frightened little girl, inner wise man, inner controller, etc. We are full of these characters, colors, and expressions, and in psychodrama, there are many and various techniques that help us discover, recognize, and accept these roles, thus expanding our inner repertoire and acknowledging its complexity. In his “Role Theory”, Jacob Moreno, author of psychodrama methodology, posited that when we allow ourselves to assume a certain role—or simply “try it on”—we awaken our imagination, character, and can even speak the text corresponding to that specific role. On numerous occasions, I was able to confirm the power of this theory in practice, when working with my clients and by participating myself in various psychodrama workshops. The inner roles that I present in my model are the Prescriptive ones. This term was coined by psychologist and founder of the post-traumatic Therapeutic Spiral Model (TSM), Dr. Kate Hudgins. Prescriptive roles are clinically necessary and prescribed by the therapist to anyone working with a traumatic issue to help support them safely through the process. I, too, chose to prescribe and develop these inner companions, helpers, and guardians who can aid us in reaching our Inner Homes. Each of them has his or her own features, strengths, values, and purpose. Each is in the right place and knows what he or she is responsible for. Throughout the chapters of my book, I share the messages of these characters so the reader can experience their presence and endow them with unique traits, personalities, intonation. These inner characters live within each of us, and only we know how each should be speaking and presenting him or herself to help everyone personally. So let's start from the inner guide that I called "my Inner Housekeeper".

Prior to beginning any journey, we need someone who will look over the map and the route that will progress. That is why an observer, who could see a more complete picture, is a necessary part of the preparation and eventual trip. Only he ( I would call it "he", but it can be "she" too) can turn our voyage from a senseless wandering into a focused journey Home—a journey toward our truth and wholeness. While on the journey, with our limited vision, we do not to know what is awaiting beyond the turn since we only see that part of the way where we are now. Our neutral witness, our guide, would tell us what is going on and fortify our faith in the steps we take. And, while we wander and search for the path, it is also very important to know that someone is waiting for us at home; that someone takes care and protects it while we’re gone. It is important that this someone should know the real and true us, and believe that, no matter what happens, we are resolute to come Home. Our witness, then, will watch over us wisely and calmly and illuminate our way, like a guiding star that is always present. Some people call such an observer God, Supreme Intelligence, Guardian, the Big Brother, Supreme I, inner voice, intuition. I call him simply my Inner Housekeeper—he who protects my genuine and pristine truth, neutrally keeps an eye on my inner space, and watches over my journey Home. Throughout history, people have attributed to their ‘overseer’ qualities such as those of Savior, supreme judge, an arbiter of Fates, the Supreme Prosecutor in the universe. Perhaps, this is the reason it is difficult for many of us to hear and accept the inner voice of a neutral observer who does not judge us or make us feel guilty, but simply watches our journey, communicating observations. Even persons who are not religious per se, tend to listen more to their inner judges, prosecutors, and defenders than to their inner neutral observers, who do not express emotions or judgements but only the reality of the way it is. Afraid or hesitant of neutrality, we often mistake a neutral position for indifference and, conversely, we might consider those who scorn, critique, or sometimes humiliate us, as people who love us or are concerned for us. Thus, even in our inner universe, there is often no space left for a neutral observer. Perhaps, being so used to bombastic personalities, we do not want, nor can we hear, his calm and reasonable voice, telling us honestly what he sees of our inner universe. If we were able, we would find him pointing to the necessary resources and assistants who could care for our inner housekeeping and eventually bring peace to our inner world and clear the Way Home. For all of us who wish to achieve this calm and orderly inner universe then, we must believe our Housekeeper and allow him to do his job. We need to give him authority, our belief and attention. I am asking readers to reach for such a place of acceptance and trust, to allow this important internal role—the Inner Housekeeper the freedom to observe and monitor its realm, so that our true paths Home can emerge.

You can read about how I found my Inner Housekeeper in my book the Way Home:Discovering the Path to your Truth, Nature and Inner Treasures ( )

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